How To Write An Obituary: Examples & Expert Guidance

Writing an obituary is a deeply personal and often challenging task. It’s a chance to celebrate a life lived, to share memories, and to provide essential information for those who are grieving. This guide provides a comprehensive look at how to write an obituary, offering practical examples and expert advice to help you navigate this sensitive process. We’ll explore everything from the basic structure to crafting a heartfelt narrative that truly honors the deceased.

Understanding the Purpose of an Obituary

Before you even begin to write, it’s important to understand the purpose of an obituary. An obituary serves several key functions:

  • Announcing a Death: The primary function is to inform the public of a person’s passing.
  • Providing Funeral Information: It details the arrangements for the funeral, memorial service, and burial.
  • Celebrating a Life: It offers a biographical sketch, highlighting the deceased’s accomplishments, personality, and relationships.
  • Sharing Memories: It provides an opportunity for family and friends to share cherished memories and anecdotes.
  • Providing a Call to Action: It often includes information about donations to charities or other ways to honor the deceased.

Understanding these purposes will shape your approach and help you focus on the most important elements.

Essential Components of an Effective Obituary

A well-written obituary isn’t just a collection of facts; it’s a narrative that paints a picture of the person being remembered. Here are the essential components:

Starting with the Basics: The Death Announcement

This section provides the core information:

  • Full Name of the Deceased: Use the full legal name.
  • Date of Death: Include the exact date.
  • Age: State the age at the time of death.
  • Location of Death: Specify the city and state (and potentially the hospital or home).

Example: “John Michael Smith, age 78, of Anytown, passed away peacefully on October 26, 2023, at Anytown General Hospital.”

Providing Biographical Information: The Life Story

This is where you provide context and personality. Consider including:

  • Birthplace and Date of Birth: Where they were born and when.
  • Parents’ Names: If known and desired by the family.
  • Education: Schools attended and degrees earned.
  • Career Highlights: Jobs held and accomplishments.
  • Hobbies and Interests: What they enjoyed doing.
  • Achievements and Awards: Recognition received.
  • Significant Life Events: Marriages, moves, and other pivotal moments.

Highlighting Relationships and Family

This section focuses on the people who were important in the deceased’s life:

  • Survived By: List immediate family members, such as spouse, children, grandchildren, and siblings.
  • Predeceased By: Mention family members who have already passed.
  • Mentioning Pets: Include pets, if desired.
  • Family Dynamics: Briefly describe their role in the family.

Detailing Funeral and Memorial Service Information

This part is crucial for informing those who wish to pay their respects:

  • Date and Time of Service: Include the specific dates and times.
  • Location of Service: The address of the funeral home, church, or memorial site.
  • Burial Information: The location of the burial, if applicable.
  • Reception Information: Details about any reception following the service.
  • Special Instructions: Include information about flowers, donations, or other preferences.

Concluding with a Call to Action (Optional)

This section provides a way for people to further honor the deceased:

  • Donations: Provide information about a preferred charity.
  • Memorials: Suggest a way to celebrate their life.
  • Guest Book/Online Condolences: Direct readers to a place to share memories.

Crafting a Heartfelt Narrative: Examples and Techniques

The tone of your obituary is crucial. It should reflect the personality of the deceased and the family’s wishes.

Example 1: A Focus on Career and Community

“Jane Elizabeth Doe, a dedicated teacher and beloved community member, passed away on November 1, 2023, at the age of 65. Born in Springfield, Jane devoted her life to education, teaching elementary school for over 30 years. She was known for her infectious enthusiasm and unwavering commitment to her students. Jane was actively involved in the local library and the Garden Club. She is survived by her husband, two children, and four grandchildren. A memorial service will be held at First Presbyterian Church on November 8th at 10:00 AM. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the Springfield Public Library.”

Example 2: Highlighting a Passion for Life

“Robert Alan Miller, a vibrant and adventurous spirit, passed away on October 29, 2023, at the age of 82. Robert lived a life filled with passion, from his early days as a pilot to his later years exploring the world. He loved to travel, hike, and share stories. He will be deeply missed by his wife, three children, and countless friends. A celebration of life will be held at the Community Center on November 5th at 2:00 PM. The family requests that donations be made to the Alzheimer’s Association in his memory.”

Tips for Writing a Compelling Obituary:

  • Be Authentic: Write in your own voice and reflect the personality of the deceased.
  • Focus on the Positive: Highlight the good qualities and accomplishments.
  • Keep it Concise: While you want to share memories, keep the obituary relatively short.
  • Proofread Carefully: Ensure accuracy and eliminate any errors in grammar and spelling.
  • Consider Professional Help: If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to seek assistance from a funeral home or a professional writer.

Where to Publish an Obituary and What to Consider

Choosing the right publication is essential for reaching the intended audience.

Traditional Newspapers: The Tried and True Method

  • Reach: Local newspapers provide a wide audience, especially for those in the community.
  • Cost: Fees vary depending on the length and circulation of the paper.
  • Deadlines: Adhere to strict deadlines to ensure publication on time.

Online Platforms and Memorial Websites

  • Reach: Wider audience, including those who may not live locally.
  • Cost: Often more affordable than print ads, with some offering free options.
  • Features: Many offer features like online guest books, photo galleries, and donation links.

Social Media: Sharing with a Wider Network

  • Reach: Immediate reach to a large network of friends and family.
  • Cost: Free, but consider privacy settings.
  • Considerations: Manage comments and ensure respectful interactions.

Choosing the Right Publication:

  • Consider the deceased’s wishes: Did they have a preference?
  • Think about the target audience: Who do you want to reach?
  • Compare costs and features: Find the best value for your needs.

Writing an obituary can be emotionally taxing. It’s important to approach the task with self-compassion.

Allow Yourself Time

Don’t rush the process. Give yourself time to grieve and reflect.

Seek Support

Talk to family and friends for support and assistance.

Consider Professional Guidance

A funeral director or grief counselor can offer valuable support.

Focus on the Positive

Remember the good times and celebrate the life of the deceased.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Why is it so difficult to write an obituary?

The difficulty stems from the emotional weight of the task, the need to condense a life into a few words, and the pressure to honor the deceased while grieving. It’s a multifaceted challenge, and it’s okay to find it hard.

Can I include humor in an obituary?

Yes, if it aligns with the deceased’s personality and the family’s wishes. A touch of humor can be a beautiful way to remember someone who had a lighthearted approach to life. However, be mindful of the tone and ensure it doesn’t detract from the solemnity of the occasion.

What if I don’t know all the details about the deceased’s life?

It’s perfectly acceptable to ask for help. Reach out to other family members, friends, or colleagues who can provide information. Even if you cannot include everything, focusing on the most meaningful aspects of their life is essential.

How long should an obituary be?

There’s no set length, but aim for a balance between being comprehensive and concise. Most obituaries are between 100 and 500 words, but the length will depend on the person’s life and the publication’s policies.

Can I make changes after the obituary has been published?

Generally, it’s difficult to make significant changes after publication. However, depending on the publication and the nature of the changes, it may be possible to publish a correction or an addendum. Therefore, always review the obituary carefully before submitting it.

Conclusion: Honoring a Life Through Words

Writing an obituary is a significant undertaking, but it’s also a powerful act of remembrance. By understanding its purpose, utilizing the essential components, and embracing the provided examples and techniques, you can create a fitting tribute that honors the life of your loved one. Remember to approach this task with compassion, seek support when needed, and focus on celebrating the legacy of the person you are remembering. This guide offers the tools and knowledge necessary to create a meaningful obituary that will be cherished for years to come.