How To Write An Obituary: A Comprehensive Guide and Example

Writing an obituary can feel overwhelming. It’s a task filled with emotion, responsibility, and the pressure to capture a life’s essence in a few paragraphs. This guide will walk you through the process, providing practical advice, insightful examples, and everything you need to create a fitting tribute. We’ll go beyond the basics and delve into the nuances of crafting a memorable obituary.

Understanding the Purpose of an Obituary

Before putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), it’s crucial to understand the primary purpose of an obituary. It serves multiple functions:

• To Announce a Death: This is the most immediate and practical purpose. It informs the community, friends, and family of the passing.
• To Honor the Deceased: An obituary is a lasting record of a life lived. It’s a chance to celebrate achievements, share memories, and reflect on the impact the person had on others.
• To Provide Information: Obituaries offer critical details about funeral arrangements, memorial services, and how to offer condolences.
• To Preserve Legacy: It’s a piece of history, a snapshot of a life that can be shared with future generations.

Gathering Essential Information: The Foundation of Your Obituary

The first step is gathering the necessary information. This might involve consulting family members, reviewing personal documents, and reflecting on the deceased’s life. Here’s a checklist of key details you’ll need:

• Full Name: Include the deceased’s full legal name, and any nicknames they were known by.
• Date and Place of Birth: This provides context and establishes their origins.
• Date and Place of Death: This is the central piece of information the obituary conveys.
• Age at Death: Calculate the age to make it easier for readers.
• Immediate Family: List surviving spouse, children, parents, siblings (and their spouses), and grandchildren, if applicable.
• Predeceased Family: Mention parents, siblings, and spouse who have passed.
• Education and Career: Briefly describe their educational background and professional life.
• Hobbies and Interests: What did they enjoy doing? This adds personality to the obituary.
• Achievements and Contributions: Highlight significant accomplishments, awards, or community involvement.
• Funeral Arrangements: Include details about the service, location, and any specific requests (e.g., donations in lieu of flowers).
• Photo: A photograph is essential to personalize the obituary.

Crafting the Narrative: Structure and Style

Now comes the creative part: writing the obituary itself. Here’s a recommended structure:

Headline: Setting the Tone

Start with a clear and concise headline announcing the death. For example: “John Smith, Beloved Husband and Father, Passes Away Peacefully.”

Introduction: The Essence of the Person

The introduction should provide basic information and set the tone. Begin with the deceased’s name, date of death, and age. You can also include a brief, impactful statement about their personality or legacy.

Life Story: Painting a Portrait

This is the heart of the obituary. Share key details about their life, including:

• Early Life: Briefly describe their childhood and upbringing.
• Education and Career: Mention schools attended, degrees earned, and their profession.
• Personal Interests and Hobbies: Include information about their passions, hobbies, and interests.
• Relationships: Highlight significant relationships, such as marriage, children, and close friendships.
• Achievements and Contributions: Mention any awards, recognitions, or significant contributions to their community.

Family and Community: The Impact on Others

Describe how the deceased touched the lives of others. Mention their roles as a spouse, parent, grandparent, friend, and community member.

Funeral and Memorial Details: Practical Information

Provide clear and accurate information about funeral arrangements, memorial services, and any specific requests (e.g., donations in lieu of flowers). Include the date, time, location, and any special instructions.

Closing: A Final Thought

End with a heartfelt statement that reflects on their life and legacy. This could be a quote, a memory, or a simple expression of love and remembrance.

An Obituary Example: Bringing it All Together

Here is a sample obituary to illustrate the structure and style discussed above:

Headline: Margaret “Maggie” Johnson, a Beacon of Kindness, Passes Away at 82

Margaret “Maggie” Johnson, a beloved wife, mother, grandmother, and friend, passed away peacefully on October 26, 2023, at the age of 82. Born in Springfield, Illinois, on July 15, 1941, Maggie lived a life marked by unwavering kindness and a deep love for her family.

Maggie dedicated her life to nurturing others. After graduating from Springfield High School, she pursued a career in nursing, where she served the community with compassion for over 30 years. Her career began at St. John’s Hospital, where she was known for her gentle touch and unwavering dedication to her patients.

Maggie married her high school sweetheart, Robert Johnson, in 1962. Together, they built a life filled with love, laughter, and a shared passion for gardening. They raised three children: David, Susan, and Emily, instilling in them the values of honesty, empathy, and hard work.

Beyond her career and family, Maggie was an avid gardener, finding solace and joy in nurturing her vibrant flower beds. She was also a devoted member of the Springfield Garden Club, where she shared her expertise and passion for plants. She was known for her delicious apple pies, her infectious laugh, and her unwavering support for those around her.

Maggie is survived by her husband, Robert; her children, David (Sarah) Johnson, Susan (Michael) Brown, and Emily (John) Davis; and her grandchildren, Jessica, Christopher, and Ashley. She was preceded in death by her parents, George and Mary Miller.

A memorial service will be held at First Presbyterian Church, 123 Main Street, Springfield, on Saturday, November 4, 2023, at 11:00 AM. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to the American Cancer Society in Maggie’s memory.

Maggie’s spirit of generosity and love will forever be etched in our hearts. She will be deeply missed by all who knew her.

Tips for Writing a Memorable Obituary

• Be Authentic: Write from the heart and let the personality of the deceased shine through.
• Keep it Concise: While you want to honor their life, keep the obituary focused and easy to read.
• Choose the Right Tone: Reflect the deceased’s personality. Was the person known for their humor? Was their life marked by hardship?
• Proofread Carefully: Ensure accuracy and clarity. Ask a friend or family member to review it before publication.
• Consider Online Publication: Many newspapers and websites offer online obituaries, which can reach a wider audience and allow for sharing photos and memories.

Addressing Sensitive Topics: How to Handle Difficult Situations

Writing an obituary can be particularly challenging when dealing with sensitive topics. Here’s how to navigate these situations:

• Unfinished Business: If there were unresolved conflicts or difficult relationships, you can acknowledge them briefly and focus on the positive aspects of the person’s life.
• Substance Abuse or Mental Health Issues: You are not obligated to reveal these details. If you choose to address them, do so with sensitivity and respect. You can focus on the challenges they faced and the efforts they made to overcome them.
• Criminal History: Generally, it is not necessary to include details about past criminal activity. Focus on the person’s life and legacy.

Beyond the Basics: Adding Personal Touches

To make the obituary truly special, consider these personal touches:

• Include a Favorite Quote: A quote that reflects the deceased’s personality or philosophy.
• Share a Memorable Anecdote: A short, heartwarming story that captures their essence.
• Mention a Pet: If the deceased loved a pet, include their name and a brief mention.
• Use a Unique Phrase: A phrase or saying that was special to them.
• Incorporate a Photo: A picture is worth a thousand words, and helps personalize the obituary.

Where to Publish Your Obituary

The choice of where to publish your obituary depends on several factors, including:

• Local Newspapers: This is the traditional method and ensures a local audience.
• Online Obituary Platforms: Websites like Legacy.com and other online obituary services offer broader reach and interactive features.
• Social Media: Consider sharing the obituary on social media platforms to reach a wider network of friends and family.
• Funeral Home Website: Most funeral homes offer online obituaries as part of their services.

Frequently Asked Questions About Writing Obituaries

Here are some common questions and answers:

What is the best way to start an obituary?

Begin with a clear and concise announcement of the death, including the deceased’s full name, date of death, and age. This immediately provides the most essential information.

How long should an obituary be?

There is no fixed length, but aim for a balance between detail and brevity. Most obituaries range from 150 to 500 words. Consider the person’s life and the amount of information you want to share.

Can I write an obituary for a pet?

Yes, it’s becoming increasingly common to write obituaries for beloved pets. You can follow a similar structure, highlighting their personality, contributions to your life, and your love for them.

How do I handle the cost of an obituary?

The cost varies depending on the publication and length. Check with local newspapers or online platforms for their pricing. Some funeral homes include the cost in their services.

What if I don’t know all the details?

Don’t worry. Gather as much information as you can. Focus on the most important aspects of their life and the memories you cherish. You can always consult with other family members for additional details.

Conclusion: A Lasting Tribute

Writing an obituary is a deeply personal and important task. By following this guide, you can create a fitting tribute that honors the life and legacy of your loved one. Remember to gather essential information, structure your writing thoughtfully, and infuse the obituary with authenticity and love. The goal is to create a lasting record that celebrates a life well-lived and provides comfort to those who mourn. With care and attention, you can create an obituary that offers solace, remembrance, and serves as a testament to the enduring power of the human spirit.